An arrest is one of the worst things that can happen to a member of your family. It causes stress and trauma not only to the arrested member but to the entire family. Additionally, the financial and legal consequences of an arrest are inevitable.
These are the most possible problems any family can go through when a loved one is arrested:
1. Embarrassment or Shame
The feeling of embarrassment or humiliation comes naturally to the entire family when a member is taken to police custody for an alleged offense or felony. They feel that they are being judged by co-workers, acquaintances and the community in general.
2. Financial Stress
When someone gets arrested, a family will certainly worry about finances since the event is not part of the family plan. But since maintaining an attorney and posting bail are necessary, the family should face it by all means.
3. Feeling Guilty
Family members especially the parents of the defendant feel guilty and tend to place the blame on themselves for what had happened. They really can’t get away from the feeling that they failed somehow. Siblings and friends of the accused cannot help but wonder if things would have been avoided had the defendant been self-disciplined, patient or brought up correctly.
4. Anxiety
Every member of the family is involved when one is arrested, and worry is natural consequence especially if the defendant is facing a possible guilty verdict. If the defendant is the head of the family, the spouse and their children will certainly worry about the future. The defendant on the other hand, will be disturbed emotionally because he doesn’t know what will happen to the family without him.
5. Sadness
Grief will certainly overcome the family when a member gets arrested. When a person goes to prison, his family members will feel that they’ve lost someone and it can be a cause of extreme sadness.
How You Can Prevent these Problems from Defeating the Family
It’s a fact. An arrest of someone in the family is a cause of problems and pain. If that happens to someone in your family, you need to find ways to mitigate its effects. Your lives cannot depend on the fate of the defendant and you must go ahead with yours no matter how difficult the situation is. As much as possible, you should try to prevent the matter from worsening your family situation. Here are some ways you can do:
- Accept the Facts because You Can’t Change Them. Whatever consequences the events might have in your lives, you must accept them. This will allow you to move on and find ways to improve your future.
- Exercise Self-Control. While it is true that you are having a difficult problem, you can’t mitigate it either by shouting and blaming others for what had happened. Discuss your problems objectively without accusing anyone for it. This will allow you to think clearly in order to find better ways of facing the problem.
- Never Judge Yourself. If you feel embarrassment and shame because of the circumstances, you should not aggravate it as it can only make you lose self-respect. You don’t actually have to feel that way. Don’t judge yourself because of this one mistake you did not even commit. You must try move on instead.
- Don’t stress yourself too much on financial problems. There are actually lots of resources that can help you lessen your financial burden. Two of these resources are a public defender to provide legal assistance and a reputable bail bond agency like the Boulder County bail bonds service to help your loved one obtain temporary liberty.
- Get Proper Counseling – This can help you mitigate your feeling of guilt and sadness for what had happened. The defendant needs to go through counseling as well. He needs to accept his part and forgive himself for what had happened.
If you are a part of a family that has gone through this stage of life, you should try to keep calm. Be the pacifier instead of being an agitator in the family. It pays to be sober in the face of trials like this.